Common Behaviours - Labeled as Unhealthy
Everyone has an opinion, and everyone is entitled to that opinion. Some behaviours get adopted into our society as "unhealthy" or "unwelcome" when they have a natural and share experience with many people.
Let's go through a few behaviours that are listed as unhealthy but are incredibly regular and valuable.
External validation and seeking it.
- This is incredibly valuable and how we determine, for example, if we like what we are wearing or if we enjoy a behaviour we display. External validation is just as valuable as internal validation. I know you are boss and don't need anyone's opinion, but receiving validation from a trusting source helps mould our sense of self.
Doing things "out of the normal" yourself or self-sabotaging
- Changing behaviour is expected; we adapt to our social surroundings to attempt to measure how we fit. Society imposes this "good" versus evil" idea regarding how we behave, which is nonsensical. Humans are meant to show different behaviour. Stop labelling people as wild or unpredictable, but more as courageous and curious. Instead of dwelling on what we have done, think about why the change is occurring.
- Everyone is impulsive and reactive. Fear, joy, and anger all exist within us and make us act irrationally. Why would you get angry when we see something we disagree with, or why do when you see a bug you run the other way. Impulsivity gives breath to new experiences. It is important to note that it can be valuable to take a moment and understand what is triggering impulsivity and be aware of that.
Not Being your True self.
- No one is ever their authentic self. It's impossible, and we adapt to our environments for protection, safety and to ensure that we can remain in those environments. For example, in a workplace, we are never our authentic selves as there are imposed rules within that construct that we follow.
Reacting to Childhood experiences / Past Trauma
- We never learn to "Deal with it." We only learn how to manage our reactions to experiences. We know from experiences, and we react accordingly. There is no shame in having a bright response to something that happened to you. It happened, it hurts, and you can respond as you need. The key is realizing the trigger and being safe enough with yourself so that you can care for yourself.
Understanding that these behaviours are entirely expected and shared among millions makes them far less shameful. Don't be afraid to reach out to a loved one and share your experiences and how normal they can be.