An absurdly friendly, medically responsible, slightly unhinged beginner’s guide written by a goofy dude who drinks tequila like it’s a personality trait.

Listen…
We’ve all been beginners once. Even Beyoncé took her first step on a stage. Even Gordon Ramsay made his first soggy egg. And yes — even I, Shane Orvis protector of tequila (my unofficial legal name), once entered my first sex shop with the confidence of a baby giraffe on roller skates.

So if you’re new to adult toys?
Congratulations. You’re joining millions of curious humans who finally said:

“You know what? Let me invest in my own happiness like a responsible adult who moisturizes and drinks water.”

And honestly? Proud of you.

First of All: Masturbation Is Extremely Normal and Scientifically Sexy (in a health-benefits way)

Let’s rip off this Band-Aid:
Masturbation isn’t weird.
It isn’t shameful.
It isn’t something only goblins and ex-boyfriends do.

It’s literally recommended by health organizations — Mayo Clinic, Planned Parenthood, and Cleveland Clinic all confirm it helps with:

✅ Stress reduction
✅ Better sleep
✅ Pain relief
✅ Boosted mood (yes, thank dopamine + endorphins)
✅ Improved self-esteem
✅ Stronger sexual communication with partners
✅ Better understanding of your body (which is kinda important!!!)

And here’s my favourite fun fact:
The National Library of Medicine has published multiple studies showing masturbation can improve pelvic floor function, cardiovascular health, and overall sexual wellbeing.

SO.
If anyone ever tries to shame you?
Send them a PDF.

Why Adult Toys Are Basically the SmartPhone of Self-Love

Adult toys:
Not just for the bold and the freaky.
They’re for the curious, the stressed, the bored, the partnered, the single, the “I deserve joy,” and the “I ate a salad today so I’ve earned this” crowd.

Think of adult toys as:

• Self-care that vibrates
• Wellness tools with personality
• Gym memberships for your happiness
• Meditation apps but… more fun

Science backs this up too. Sexual health researchers note that using toys can:

✅ Increase blood flow (good for sexual health!)
✅ Improve lubrication and arousal
✅ Help people reach orgasms more consistently
✅ Reduce anxiety around performance
✅ Strengthen relationships through exploration

Look at you — caring for your health like a responsible citizen.

Okay But Where Do I Start? I’m Confused and a Little Sweaty.

Relax, amigo. Take a sip of tequila.
(I prefer reposado, but I don’t judge.)

Here’s your simple, non-terrifying starter map:

1. Start Small, Stay Cute

No need to buy something that looks like NASA built it for deep-space pleasure missions.
You’re a beginner — grab something friendly, smooth, unintimidating, and ideally not shaped like a medieval war instrument.

2. Why You are here Body Safe Device
Read our full rundown on toxic toys!

• Medical-grade silicone

• ABS plastic

• Stainless steel

Avoid anything that smells like a dollar store or feels like a pool toy. Trust me.

All of SENSUALE's product are body-safe... so don't fret amigo.

3. Lube Is the Beyoncé of Joy

It makes everything better.
Everything.
EVERYTHING.

4. Go Slow — You’re Dating, Not Speedrunning

You don’t just dive into adult toys like you dive into nachos at 2am.
Warm-up counts.
Your body will send you thank-you notes.

The Mental Health Glow-Up

Masturbation — with or without toys — has been shown to boost:

✅ Emotional regulation
✅ Mood stability
✅ Body confidence
✅ Reduced anxiety
✅ Better sleep cycles

You know what that means?

You’re not just buying a vibrator.
You’re buying wellness.
Move over Gwyneth Paltrow you can make your own goop....

You Are Officially Vibe-Curious Royalty

If you’ve read this far, you are:

💫 A scholar
💫 A champion
💫 A brave explorer of personal joy
💫 Someone who deserves the good vibrations of the universe

And from one goofy tequila-loving human to another:
Welcome to the club.
It’s fun here.
We hydrate, we take care of our sexual health, we stretch (sometimes), and we believe in pleasure as a normal part of adult life.